Detox: Day 4, 27/04/13

Another match late last night against Anne. She landed 3 triple word score tiles and shot out in front. There was no way I could catch her. At least I got to play the word 'cozen'.

Following that, we had a relaxation session, where we stretched out on yoga mats and listened to ambient music while Kate, the only attractive nurse, talked us through.

"Relax your spine, your shoulders, your hands and your feet. Breathe deep and feel the nutrients flow through you. Exhale the bad thoughts and the negative energy."

By then end it seemed everybody was well relaxed and sleepy, and Kate asked everybody to rise to a sitting position, whereupon Chris, who is constipated, let rip one of the most enormous farts I've ever heard.

Of course, everybody was reduced to helpless laughter, seemingly negating the whole relaxation session. Laughing felt good, though.

***

Midday focus group, and I feel so sorry for some of these guys. We were asked to write down the five most important things to us, and then remove one at a time, until the most important thing is left. I chose my wife, just ahead of family.

Some of these guys chose 'using'. If that's the most important thing in your life, how can you beat it?

One of the guys even admitted that he had spoken to a friend on the phone earlier in the day, and organised to have a deck of smokes and a bottle of whiskey waiting for him when he gets out.

***

The guys have taken to calling me 'Chuck', after Chuck Norris, on account of my beard. It's amusing, but I still can't wait to shave the fucking thing off.

Steve came and delivered some headphones for my iPod and a few extra books. Just seeing him made me deliriously happy, and I just wanted to bust out of the door and go with him.

After he left, I stood at the window watching him go. The glass felt more like prison bars. A bleak mood stole over me, and I thought of my wife, and wished that things could just be back to the way they were.

Whether I am going to Sydney or not still seems to be up in the air, and I wonder how I can instil trust in people if I have to hang around and wait for another rehab place to take me.